Eric Abrahamson's Blog

Monday, August 06, 2007

Resume XXXIV

ERIC ABRAHAMSON'S IT AND (SOFTWARE) SALES RESUME

ERIC ABRAHAMSON, Yale University, Pierson '71
945 Ohlone Ave., Apt. 965
UC Village Albany, East Village
Albany, CA 94706
510-809-1369 x6149
ericabrahamson@aya.yale.edu

Gentlemen:

I am writing in response to the position in your internet ad. I feel I would be an asset to your organization. After Yale University Class of '71 (www.yale.edu), I completed three years of the Information and Computer Science Major at UC Irvine and Cal State Northridge and I am already accepted to Cal State East Bay in Hayward for to finish my final year of the B.S.C.S. I have also applied to Cal, the University of California at Berkeley (www.berkeley.edu) to be a senior in the College of Engineering Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science for Fall 2007; I will hear April 30. I tell them that if I do well enough and the financial aid (I'll get off my SSI) holds out I may become the oldest grad/professional student seeking perhaps a joint degree with two of the following: M.D./J.D./M.B.A./Ph.D. in Computer Science or Music from Cal and/or Ph.D. in Medical and Biological Informatics from UCSF. I am taking Business 10, Introduction to Business, and English 1A, Reading and Composition, at Berkeley City College for Spring 2007 and if I get two A’s I am already automatically accepted to CSEB as a senior in the Computer Science Major. I went from UCI to Cal State because of low grades even though I got straight A’s in Lowell High School, have an I.Q. of 159, and got B’s (High Passes) at Yale because I have a learning disability, a bad memory, possibly Alzheimer’s, I think from the chronic prostatitis I caught at age twenty-six. I have five years of programming experience and two years of sales experience. I am applying to Silicon Valley companies like Apple, IBM, Microsoft, Intel, HP, Google, and Sun for such positions as software engineer, database administrator, and programmer/analyst. I want a six-figure job.

I met Wavy Gravy and the Hog Farm (www.wavygravy.net) when they were security at the Woodstock Music Festival and lived with them on their commune in Llano, New Mexico. I hung out with them in Berkeley, and I attended Adult Camp at their Camp Winnarainbow (www.campwinnarainbow.org, www.skypilotclub.com) in Laytonville three times. I worked security with them and the Hells Angels at pop festivals, and they also are backstage for the Grateful Dead, Phil Lesh and Friends, and Bobby Weir and Ratdog (www.dead.net). I was a lifelong friend of Hog Farmer Little Richie Shirley, who I met at Woodstock, who worked in the Dead’s backstage crew and whose wife Andrea worked in the Grateful Dead office and is head cook at Camp Winnarainbow. Wavy Gravy, his wife, Jahanera Romney, Ram Dass, Bobby Weir, and Dr. Larry Brilliant also have an opthamological blindness project in Nepal and India called the SEVA Foundation financed by benefits by artists like Crosby, Stills, Nash,and Young, Bonnie Raitt, Jackson Browne, Loggins and Messina, Buffy Ste.-Marie, Joan Baez, Peter, Paul, and Mary, Odetta, The Band (that backed up Bob Dylan), John Lee Hooker, Kris Kristofferson, and Sweet Honey in the Rock. I am volunteering for the IT Director. I am taking the Eudora emails, putting them into Excel or Notepad, and putting those into The Raiser's Edge nonprofit fundraisers' management database software. I also play lead guitar and sing a Jerry Garcia Tribute in a Grateful Dead (and other bands we like) cover band with originals: The Eric Abrahamson Band. I am CEO, President, Chairman of the Board, CIO, Boss, Owner, Founder, and God, of EricAbrahamsonsBoutique.com, an ecommerce international business offering licensed Grateful Dead Merchandise, downloads, and electronics. For the last fifteen years I have been married to Laurie Senit, a Hollywood actress and comedian with a B.A. in Psychology from UCLA (she got straight 'A's' in M.F.T. grad school at Pepperdine University, was a Penthouse Pet, and was invited to the Playboy Mansion).

I would like to impress you with my family's prominence. My mother, Lucille Abrahamson, was elected to the San Francisco School Board for six years and served two years as President, worked in the San Francisco Mayor's Office of Childcare under Mayor Dianne Feinstein, and was appointed to the San Francisco Human Rights Commission by Mayor Frank Jordan, the former police chief. My sister, a Bel-Air lawyer, worked in the White House as Assistant Chief-of-Staff to Vice-President Bush and is Chairman of the Barbara Bush Literacy Campaign. She also worked on AIDS research as a board member of the Jonas Salk Foundation at UCSD in La Jolla, is a board member of the National Geographic Magazine, and runs a thinktank, the Jefferson Institute. My brother-in-law, Jonathan Aronson, is a USC Professor of International Relations, formerly department director, and Executive Director of the Annenberg Center for Communications. My father, James Abrahamson, who still lives at 29 West Clay Park in San Francisco, is a retired restaranteur and institutional furniture salesman and has a B.A. from Stanford University in Economics. My brother-in-law got his Ph.D. from Stanford University and his B.A. from Harvard University. My sister got her J.D. from Boalt Hall at Cal, her Ed.D. from the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University, and her M.A. in Art Education from the Stanford University School of Education. I was also accepted to Stanford University as a freshman, and UCSC, but chose to attend Yale University instead.

I would like to share my enthusiasm for this position with you. You will never find a better or more dedicated worker. I am a dynamic people person and am well-liked by my co-workers. I would be pleased to become part of the team. I work hard, love computers, am a strong programmer, and have excellent verbal and written communication skills. I have an IQ of 159, am the world's greatest IT executive, and am truly the best and the brightest.

I will be pleased to discuss my background in further detail upon meeting with you in person. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours,
Eric Abrahamson




COMPUTER SKILLS:

LAMP (Linux-Apache-MySQL-PHP), Visual Studio 2005, Visual C#.NET, Visual C++.NET, Visual Basic.NET, Visual C++, VB, ASP.NET, VBScript, JavaScript, PERL, Mathematica, Lisp, Ada, PL, CGI, Java, Enterprise JavaBeans, MFC, COM+, ADO, GUI, RMI, CORBA, Site Server Commerce Edition, HTML, DHTML, XML, MathML, C, Pascal, FORTRAN, COBOL, Assembly, SQL, Visual Studio.NET Enterprise Developer, FrontPage, Dreamweaver, ColdFusion, Flash, Fireworks, Photoshop, Drumbeat, Frontpage, Visual InterDev, Webmaster, Ecommerce, Windows DNA, Intranet, Multi-tier, Software Engineer, SQL Server, Access, Filemaker Pro, FoxPro, Windows XP Professional, Office 2003, Windows 2003 Server, Apple Macintosh OSX, VMS, UNIX, LINUX, Solaris, Game Programmer

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:
2/2007 - present PEACE ACTION WEST, Berkeley, CA
Phone Canvasser
End All War For Our Grandchildren--$20/year
FORESTS FOREVER, San Francisco, CA
Phone Canvasser
Global Warming and Save The Sequoias
TELECOMM, INC., San Francisco, CA
Telesales Representative
Phone Sales of the S.F. Chronicle--$19.99 for 52 weeks
11/2005 - 3/2006 INVESTORS BUSINESS DAILY, Los Angeles, CA
Inside Sales Representative
I loved this job. I sold subscriptions on the phone to this competitor to the Wall Street Journal. Top salespeople made $2000 per week. I won the 'stops' sales contest where, if you make seven sales by Thursday at three, you get to call the stopped subscriptions, and you make more money.

8/2005 - 9/2005 e-QUIZitive, LLC, Los Angeles, CA
Medical Software Sales Executive
I sold MedQ web-based JCAHO (Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations) compliance software to hospitals, clinics, doctors' offices, nursing homes, staffing agencies, and independent nurses. The job ad stated the salary as $150,000-$200,000 a year. During this time I did much internet research about, learned much about, and became very interested in pursuing a career in software sales. I quit when at least ten business advisors from the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE) of the Small Business Administration advised me by email to run from a company that couldn't tell me how many installed users they had who I could use as references when selling to my clients, and that had a commission 'hold back' clause in the contract, among other things.

6/2002 - 7/2003 CHABAD JEWISH CHARITIES, Westwood, CA
Telemarketer/Fundraiser
I did telemarketing/fundraising for this organization which presents the Chabad Telethon on TV every fall. My ex-wife Laurie got me involved, and she was working there recently. The building is located across the street from UCLA. We raised $36,000 in three months, breaking all sales records.

2/2002 - present SELF, Los Angeles, CA
Computer Teacher
I do tutoring at people's homes in basic internet, wordprocessing, spreadsheet, and database skills, as well as a little programming.

10/1999 - present ASSOCIATION FOR COMPUTING MACHINERY - L.A. CHAPTER, Los Angeles, CA
Database Administrator
I do this Los Angeles Records Controller Committee Chair volunteer job for thisprominent computer society (www.acm.org, www.ieee.org) whose national branch accredits the computer science department curriculum in every university.

12/1996 - 1/2002 aNET COMMUNICATIONS, Los Angeles, CA
Web Developer and Programmer
I did web development in Visual InterDev, Drumbeat, and Cold Fusion and programming in Java, Visual C++, and Visual Basic. aNetCommunications is an internet service provider that does web hosting, web site design, and e-commerce solutions.

6/1996 - 12/1998 DR. BOB MATIRKO, Santa Monica, CA
Computer Consultant and Guru
I set up his computers, taught computer skills, and did medical transcriptions of psychological evaluations.

9/1995 - 6/1996 NEW MEXICO HIGHLANDS UNIVERSITY, Las Vegas, NM
Tutor/Computer Lab Assistant
I helped students with their programs and was responsible for maintenance ofthe NMHU Computing Lab. The lab at that time had ten Gateway P-100's and P-75's, about twenty 486 DX2 66's, and twelve printers, including two laser printers.

9/1993 - 6/1994 CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, BAKERSFIELD, Bakersfield, CA
Instructional Computing Lab Consultant
I assisted students with the four instructional computing labs with VAX's,terminals, PC's, and Macs, maintained the labs, locked up, etc.

EDUCATION:

CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, NORTHRIDGE - Computer Science Major

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT IRVINE - Information and Computer Science Major

YALE UNIVERSITY - Philosophy and Religious Studies Major

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